We hear about creating community safe spaces, but it’s just as important to create a safe space for your children at home. Safe spaces are a place where children can feel protected from harm, discrimination, and overwhelming outside stimulation. They provide a comforting environment where kids can feel prepared to deal with confusing and new thoughts and feelings. These spaces also offer a judgment-free environment where children can let their guard down and don’t have to fear being themselves. In safe spaces, the outside pressure of peers and society is temporarily lifted.
As we grow older and the world becomes more overwhelming, creating a safe space at home helps children maintain good mental health. When we feel safe, we produce less cortisol, the stress hormone, which allows us to better process and deal with our emotions.
Children frequently encounter new situations and thoughts, so having a safe space for them to process these experiences can help them become more self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and better problem-solvers. In short, they can become better at self-regulating their emotions, feelings, and behaviors.
Now that we have established the benefits of safe spaces, how do you create one?
There are many ways to create a safe space in your home. An easy way is to designate an area for your child to call their own. Giving them a private corner, room, or fort as a place where they can feel in control grants your child an inviting place to go to feel secure and protected whenever they need it. Allowing them to decorate the space as their own will help them find comfort and enhance the experience, making their thoughts and opinions feel heard and validated.
Creating a routine is also a great way for children to feel secure in the home. It’s easier for children to find comfort and safety in a scheduled bed, meals, and playtime. To help your child feel more grounded and protected, create a routine that works for you and stick to it as much as you can.
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Safe spaces are mental just as much as physical, so doing your best to foster open lines of communication is key. This way, children will feel more comfortable coming to you to tell you about difficult and overwhelming emotions, thoughts, and situations. This open and supporting relationship can be an incredible help in maintaining and ensuring the mental well-being of growing children. As parents, it can often feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day, but practicing active listening and giving your child both the time and space to work through their thoughts with you goes a long way towards making them feel supported, heard, and validated.
Another way to help create a safe space in your home is to dedicate time to give your child your undivided attention. Spending quality time with them will help develop trust and make them feel supported. It could be as simple as reading to them, baking, painting your nails, drawing, going to the park, or playing a favorite game. No matter what you do, the important part is that you are present and focused on them. This will help them feel special and appreciated. Cultivating a relationship where they feel comfortable coming to you will help make it easier for them to ask for help whenever they need it.
Finally, some behaviors and strategies to create a safe and supportive home environment include not yelling (I mean, who responds well to being yelled at?), displaying affection, and being straightforward. Following through and placing value on what you say and the promises you make to your children will show them they can rely on and trust you. Being conscious of the behaviors you display in front of your children is important as if you have kids, you know they are little sponges, and they understand and pick up on a lot more than we think. Staying positive and setting good examples are great ways for children to feel protected and comfortable in their environment.
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Ella Shauman has recently graduated from the University of Michigan with a bachelor’s degree in English Language and Literature. She loves to travel, try new restaurants, and spend time with family and friends in her free time.