Hi everyone! It’s Mandy (mother of 2 – an almost 5-year-old boy and a 1-year-old girl). I am blogging on Be the Difference, recapping some valuable tips from Empowering Kids With Character – The Show!


Fair vs. Equal - mariadismondy.com


On September 6th, Maria shared the new monthly theme which is “fairness” – such a hot topic in our home! You can watch the full video here.

First of all, what does fairness mean? Children usually think that “fair” and “equal” mean the same thing, but they do not. Fair means that everyone gets what they need or deserve while equal means that everyone gets the same regardless of need.

Maria shared this article that gives the following 5 talking points when talking to your children about fairness (be sure to check out the article as they share samples of how to discuss each talking point);

  1. Discuss people’s varying needs, since fairness is often based on what each person needs to be successful and healthy.
  2. Explain that fairness is sometimes based on desire and interest. Everyone likes different activities, foods, games, colors and books.
  3. Have a conversation about merit, hard work and perseverance. We want to send the message that people who put in the most time and effort often get the largest share.
  4. Talk about fairness and appropriateness. Let your child know that depending on a person’s age, experience and ability, what’s fair may change.
  5. Life, unfortunately, isn’t always fair. In a quiet moment, talk about what you think is really unfair in life, whether it’s people who are suffering – like a friend who has lost her parent to cancer – or kids who are homeless, or it’s societal inequalities that make life difficult for certain groups of people. This will provide some perspective for your children, while you ask them to take a walk in another person’s shoes. They may even want to find ways to be able to help those in need!

Maria shared the following example to help your child understand “fair” and “equal”;

Your child has already eaten lunch, but then a friend comes over who has not eaten lunch. Mom prepares lunch for the friend but also gives her child a light snack. The child may say “hey, my friend has more food than me! That’s not fair!” Mom could then say “Well, you already had lunch, but your friend did not. He/she needs more food than you do in order to be full so that’s why your plates don’t look equal, but this is fair.”

I don’t know about you, but I am looking forward to explaining the difference between “fair” and “equal” to my son – maybe, just maybe, we’ll have a few less temper tantrums….maybe…

Maria also reminded us that on September 1st, she launched an Alexa Flash Briefing on positive parenting! While going about your day, you can just say “Alexa, share my briefing” and she’ll share Maria’s quick, 1 minute, briefing! It’s absolutely FREE to add this app to your Alexa so check it out!

Be sure to check out our private Facebook group for more on the monthly theme and support from fellow parents and educators!



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