Mama Interview #8

by | Mar 21, 2014 | Family Fun, Guest Bloggers

The intention of this series is to showcase a number of individuals with children primarily in elementary school and younger (But I will interview some mamas of older children too!) I will not be sharing names or photos. Why is this you ask? The purpose of the series is to bond together with our similiarities instead of using our differences to compare each other. Comparison can be the devil when it comes to parenting. I want to try to eliminate factors that would make us doubt ourselves. Please enjoy reading these interviews every Friday over the next few months! –

Interview #8

LET’S FACE IT, THIS MOM GIG IS HARD! WHAT DO YOU FIND TO BE THE HARDEST PART?

The most challenging for me right now is navigating how to teach our kids to be true to themselves, to be kind, to be honest and to be good citizens. Our oldest is in kindergarten, and she is learning about friendships and how difficult it all can be. I can’t be with her 100% of the time, and I struggle with how do I teach her to stand up for herself and be confident and avoid the not-so-good people and activities out there that I know she will encounter. What can we teach her and tell her now that will set up a lifetime of making the right choices? The world is hard. Peer pressure is strong. People aren’t always kind and not everyone makes good decisions, and while I know my girls will encounter this, I want them to know that they can walk away from it and still be proud and have friends who honor and respect their decisions.

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MAMA MOMENT YOU CAN LOOK BACK ON AND LAUGH ABOUT NOW?
When my oldest was 6 months, she and I joined my husband on a business trip to Florida. As soon as the plane took off, we could smell that she had messed her diaper. I took her into the tiny bathroom only to find there was no space to change her. So I sat on the toilet and held her on my thighs and proceeded to change her, only to find that she had messed through all of her clothing- onesie, pants, shirt, everything. I had to strip her completely down, wipe her off with paper towels and my wet wipes, and put on a fresh diaper, and in the process, had managed to get some of her lovely mess on me. Then I realized I hadn’t brought a change of clothes for her in the bathroom with me. So I walked out of that bathroom, holding my daughter with only a diaper on, an armful of poopy clothes and poop stains on my shirt. I felt like all eyes were on me as I returned to my seat and my husband’s questioning “what the heck just happened?” Don’t even ask.
WHICH MOMENTS IN PARENTING MAKE YOU FEEL THE MOST VULNERABLE OR UNSURE? WHAT RESOURCES DO YOU TURN TO IN ORDER TO FEEL BETTER?

Wondering all the time if the decisions I make for my girls are the right ones. Which sports to sign them up for, and whether to sign them up at all? Which food to send in their lunches? What snacks to give them for after school? How much TV is too much and which shows are ok to watch? Did I choose the right school? Did I say the right thing when my daughter asks “why?” I am not big on parenting books, because everyone has an opinion and they aren’t one-size-fits-all. So, I find that asking the opinions of my family and girlfriends is so helpful, but ultimately talking it all over with my husband to finalize a decision is the best resource for me. We are in this together, because we are both vested in our children’s futures and we are the ones who care the most about our own children. We make decisions together and we back each other up.

WE ALL HAVE BAD DAYS, AND SOME ARE WORSE THAN OTHERS. WHAT’S YOUR GO-TO COPING STRATEGY TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE REALLY ROUGH SPOTS?
I rely on my girlfriends a lot. When I encounter a rough day or moment, I run through my list of friends in my head and think who I can call or text or e-mail who has either been through this before, would know more about what I need, would join me for a yoga or spin class or a run, or who I can call for some inspiration or even just a laugh or a cry. I am involved in a monthly book club and a separate mama’s group, so reading, crafting, learning about health, sharing stories and meeting with wonderfully inspirational women is so therapeutic. I also use my blog as a journal and I love to write about the ups and downs of our life. Putting it down on keyboard and getting it out of my head is so refreshing.

WE ALL NEED HELP TO MAKE IT ALL HAPPEN. WHAT TOOLS DO YOU USE TO HELP ORGANIZE YOUR FAMILY? (APP, PRODUCT, ETC.)
I have one calendar that I keep on the fridge for my husband and kids to see, and I write all of our family events on it- school specials, activities, dance, swim, date nights, etc. I also have a dry erase board on the fridge that I write my nightly activities on for the school week, such as making lunches, packing the swim bag, setting the coffee. This way, my husband can look and see what I haven’t checked off yet and pick something to do without having to ask me. I am a huge list maker, and I was getting stressed about always writing lists, so I’ve learned to write all my things to do in one place- the Wunderlist app. I no longer write lists in my phone and on paper- I only do it in this app. I can organize all my thoughts and items into different folders and I check off what I’ve done and it disappears from view. It is awesome and I can’t live without it!

WHAT IS THE BEST ADVICE ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU ON BEING A PARENT?
Oh, you will get so much advice from others, and I have learned to smile and listen, but to know that each home, each child, each parent is different. I found this quote and I try to read it daily. It reminds me to cherish the little moments every day, to put down the phone, to be present with my kids. There will come a day when they have all left home, and I’ll be wishing I had the mountain of laundry, the piles of dishes and the tiny fingerprints on the windows again.
“You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow, they’ll be a little older than they were today. This day is a gift. Breathe and notice. Smell and touch them; study their faces and little feet and pay attention. Relish the charms of the present. Enjoy today, mama. It will be over before you know it.” (-Jen Hatmaker)

Here I share blog posts from other writers that I’ve read that inspired me as a mother.

Check out this great read.